Sometimes I feel as though I’m just barely clinging to my new lifestyle. I feel the old me pulling like gravity pulling on a climber trying to reach the summit. It would be so much easier to just let go of the triathlete in me, and not have to worry about where I am going to fit in my next run, bike, or swim workout.
Lately, my life has been chaotic. I have had a million things dumped on my plate and don’t seem have enough time in a day to fit everything in. As a result, my training has fallen by the wayside. For the past 2 weeks, my training has been sporadic at best. In it’s place are days filled with getting up at 4:30 a.m., leaving the house by 5:30, returning home by 3:00 p.m, and chaos all afternoon until I have no time left to train, and no energy left if I did have the time. With no time to cook, I had a couple weeks there where I was eating out too much. A couple of guys at work gave their notice, so on their last day, we all went out for a beer. I had a few too many beers over the last couple of weeks.
After a couple of weeks of sporadic training due to this crazy, hectic, not enough time in my day chaos, I notice my mood start to shift. I start to lose my motivation for everything. I start to feel regret for not making the time to train. I start worrying about how much of my base fitness I am losing. I start worrying if I have thrown my Ironman training program off so much, there will be no catching up. The stress really starts to add up, and I just want to pick up a 6 pack of beer on the way home and vegetate on the couch watching TV until I fall asleep in my recliner. Oh that would be so easy.
BUT I WON’T DO THAT!! I won’t let go. I won’t take the easy way out. I want to get to Kona to damn bad. If I let go, I will surely fall to an early death, as 3 previous generations of my paternal bloodline have. NO! THAT WILL NOT BE ME!! I will break the cycle, I will set a good example for my son, and damn it, I will live the healthy lifestyle of an age grouper triathlete. I love how training feels, I love being tired from riding 150 miles in a week, and I take a shit load of pride in being able to do something that 99% of people won’t do. Notice how I said won’t? They could, they just won’t. Instead, they will let their pathetic excuses rule their lives, and they will succumb to obesity and a sedentary lifestyle. Well, that won’t be me. I refuse to let gravity pull me back to being the lazy, fat, bad eating, over drinking, depressed individual that I was.
My summit is Kona. It is the long healthy life I plan on living. If I let go, or lose site of it, I will surely die younger than is necessary.
I may be just hanging on, but it is only to gather my thoughts, prioritize my life, and map out a plan to get to that summit! This weekend, I mustered up the strength to do my long ride on Saturday, and a short ride (16 miles) followed by my long run (7.7 miles) on Sunday. I realized that my base fitness has carried me through to this period of just hanging on. I was reminded that I AM A TRIATHLETE. I am not a beer guzzling, junk food eating, fat, lazy guy anymore, and I refuse to let go. I will reach the summit.
See you in Kona.